just writing some writings

it's really hard to write when you havent been writing for a really long while. so much has happened you dont know where to begin. i am a dead person. reborn every day. the person i am yesterday is not the same as the person i am now. and its impossible for the future me to experience the feelings the present me feels.

time moves on like an unstoppable train. i look around me and everythings changed. god, where have i been? have i fallen asleep? to see the people i know growing up, and to feel my self grow up, strikes fear in my heart. fear of uncertainty. of not knowing. because things has its way of malfunctioning at times when you need it the most.

sometimes, i feel so empty. i dont know where i belong? which place should i be? is this the life that i wanted? why cant i change? whats stopping me? am i sad? why am i smiling?

i feel so distant. so lonely in a crowd of people. what makes me sick is not that i dont know where to turn, i know its there, but im too weak to embrace it. and all i do is wait. its ironic you see, i hate waiting, but i kept on waiting.

whats next for me? are we really done? have we did the right thing today? because life(death) is just a breath away, you can never know which one is your last.

i dont know what more to say, till then, embrace it before its too late.